Monday, January 12, 2009

Stupid "C" word!

This post is basically for my mother in law.  You can read it if you want but just to let you know that I am writing to her.  

I would like to apologize for my behavior. I thought being mad at you would somehow make it go away but it hasn't.  I hate the fact that cancer has come up in your, and our, lives again, but it has. And so I am going to stop being mad; mad at you, mad at the doctors, mad at cancer, just plain mad.  I haven't even really explained to the kids what is happening again.  I guess that will be our subject for FHE tonight.  
This is my plan from now on: to be a supporting role through this, chemo and all. To help you whenever you need it.  To have the kids praying for you; for Mike and I to be praying for you, daily.  I know that you will fight through this again but I just hate that it has come back.  And then I thought to myself, if I feel this way, how in the world are you feeling?  For that I am truly sorry.  If you didn't know this before, I am a selfish brat.  I am sorry that I was thinking about myself and not thinking about your feelings.  I am sorry for being curt, short, or plainly, bratty. 
Mike and I are here to help you whenever you need us.  I know that you have felt the Comforting Hand before, and I know you will feel it again.  But I just wanted you to know that I love you.  I will be here for you whenever you need me.  I am so sorry for my behavior, you have done nothing wrong.  It has been me who needs an attitude adjustment.  Can I say sorry one more time, I'm sorry.

With that being said, let's kick cancer in the ass and then kiss it goodbye once and for all!  Don't forget, I can always shave my head with you!

I love you!  


Kathryn said...

Angie, I am so sorry. I am in tears and am at a loss for words. You guys will all be in our prayers. Love ya, Kath

Jen said...

I am so sorry to hear this! The "C" word just plain sucks. Our thoughts and prayers are with you guys and Mike's family.

And I'm really having a hard time picturing you being selfish, curt, short, or plainly, bratty. It's just not you! I don't believe any of it.