Thursday, June 24, 2010

HAPPY very Belated Birthday Jayne!!!!

My dearest Jayne,

I have known that you were going to be mine since I was 10 years old! I will never forget it and I am sure that you won't either since I talk about it often. But that was the day that my testimony of eternal families was born and I KNEW you were supposed to be in my family. It was after my Grandma Flake's funeral and I was having a quiet moment saying goodbye to her at the cemetary. Then, just as real as a bird chirping, I saw a picture of you in my mind. Blond hair, blue eyes, huge dimples, and I heard a voice tell me "Jane. You will have a daughter named Jane." And then 17 years later, that moment became reality when I held you in my arms. I love the decision that Mike and I made to add the "y' into your name. It is unique and original, just like you!

Six years after your birth, I never could have imagined having so many emotional moments with just one child. I now know why you were brought into my life. I appreciate your honesty, love and sincerity,and at times, trials. You have melted my heart with such wonderful, heart felt compliments and made me so frustrated that the only thing that kept you alive was the fact that you were named after my Grandma Flake. From your febrile seizures when you were 2 yrs old, to your potty training for 1 1/2 years, to your newly diagnosed disorder, I wouldn't change a thing about you.

I remember when we lived in AZ, one Fast Sunday, you ran up through the choir chairs, and of course, I had to get you. I remember asking Bishop McMullin, 'What do I do with her?" I had had one of those moments of complete frustration and instantly he changed it with two sentences, "You love her. Just love her." The funny thing is that I saw the Savior telling me that, not the Bishop. And once again, I knew that you were supposed to be mine.

I will never forget researching Oppositional Defiant Disorder and not knowing whether to cry or laugh because it described you perfectly. And then reading the test results from the doctors was another confirmation of your personality and the struggles that you have gone through. I loved going to the 'learning doctor' and having our mommy/daughter dates with you. I love your energy for life. We will work through any trials that you will have, together. And yes, at times I give you more leniency but I know that you are trying so hard to be good. I can see it in your beautiful blue eyes.

My only prayer for you is to take that good energy and stay close to the Gospel. Be good. Do good. Act good. Show goodness in all that you do!

Happy 6th Birthday! I love you!

Your Mom